Vedanta Dindima (the drum beat of Vedanta) is an amazing text in the form of crisp slokas about what Vedanta proclaims is Brahman. There are 94 shlokas in it containing the essence everyone must know before entering the Grihastha Asrama. In the 8th shloka, there is a good proclamation about what is worth listening to and what is not worth listening to. It is necessary in this day and age when we are all ultra-consumers of processed digital food. We need to know what is pure unprocessed food that is healthy for your well being.
There are two categories, one worth listening to that bestows joy and the other being unworthy causes pain. The one worth listening to is alone Brahman; not the other. This is the proclamation of Vedanta. BhagavadGita also says :
Intellect absorbed in That, their Self being That, established in that, with That for their supreme Goal, they go whence there is no return, their sins dispelled by Knowledge. [ Chapter 5 – Verse 17 ] [1]
Gaining knowledge begins from the childhood phase only by listening. Children gather words and their vocabulary primarily by listening alone. Listening is a powerful skill that must develop over time from our childhood into adulthood. As an adult, we have the freedom to choose what we listen to. Therefore it is proclaimed that only Brahma vishaya or the talks about Brahman are bound to give you sukham i.e. happiness not any other talks. To listen and listen well are skills that must be deliberated worked upon by each of us on a path to uplift ourselves spiritually. Listening is the cornerstone for human learning. This is the reason we have two ears and one mouth. To listen more and speak as needed. Wedon’t need any ideals but just look at our own Gods for getting inspired to imbibe this quality of listening. In the Mahabharatha, on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, Bhagavan Sri Krishna listens with complete attention to whatever depressed Arjuna has to say because listening with complete attention is in itself healing. Listening with complete attention is also the greatest compliment you can give anyone. We all need attention – that is one of the greatest people truths.
To go back to our point of discussing “worthy listening”, we must understand what is to be done before we start listening. Even before we start listening to Vedanta as an adult, we must empty ourselves. Without emptying ourselves, we cannot receive wisdom. Wisdom is given only to those who have become silent inside and not to those with crowded minds.[2]
An interesting order of knowledge (Jnana samuparjana is shown here). Srotavya (Listening) has to be followed by Mantavya i.e. reflecting thinking. This must be followed by Nididhyasanam i.e. assimilating, internalising and becoming contemplatory. When we are able to follow this SOP (standard operating procedure), our life will become spiritually uplifting. What do you listen to on a daily basis? For a start, listen to
If you’re situated in sattvaguna then you will have peace of mind. Peace is called as shanta rasa. When comes this peace of mind or shanti? Only to a person who is desire-free. So if you are serious about having peace of mind and if you’re serious about your advancement in spiritual life then you must follow what is there in the shastra and what is spoken by Krishna himself. Only then life is successful. Hare Krishna.
Out of the three gunas or bhavas one must let go of the two inferior qualities of rajo guna and tamo guna. The symptoms of the rajo and tamo bhavas are kama and lobha or those who are infected with being very lusty and very greedy. They are not satisfied and this is the basis of the modern civilization. Only the less intelligent people cannot let go of these two qualities.
Only the intelligent persons are situated in sattva guna and therefore are able to perform pure devotional service to Krishna without any disturbance.
From Srila Prabhupadas Srimad Bhagavatam lecture on Understanding Krishna’s mercy.
If you’re situated in sattvaguna then you will have peace of mind. Peace is called as shanta rasa. When comes this peace of mind or shanti? Only to a person who is desire-free. So if you are serious about having peace of mind and if you’re serious about your advancement in spiritual life then you must follow what is there in the shastra and what is spoken by Krishna himself. Only then life is successful. Hare Krishna.
Out of the three gunas or bhavas one must let go of the two inferior qualities of rajo guna and tamo guna. The symptoms of the rajo and tamo bhavas are kama and lobha or those who are infected with being very lusty and very greedy. They are not satisfied and this is the basis of the modern civilization. Only the less intelligent people cannot let go of these two qualities.
Only the intelligent persons are situated in sattva guna and therefore are able to perform pure devotional service to Krishna without any disturbance.
From Srila Prabhupadas Srimad Bhagavatam lecture on Understanding Krishna’s mercy.
It is so easy to be harsh on ourselves, really for any reason. We beat ourselves up because we consider ourselves weak and not have the ability to fight back. But the time you spend in thinking about what has gone wrong in life or what you have done wrong and the mistakes you’ve made that led to your current situation cannot help you get out of new problematic situations unless you do this reflection by also thinking about all the positives in your life. We will never be perfect and that’s perfectly okay. It is not the goal of life to be perfect or need a perfect life because there is no such thing. We are who we are because of our flaws and also because of all the great things we accomplished till date, which make us unique in this beautiful world.
Whenever you feel the urge to put yourself down, take a moment to remind yourself of the reasons why you are a great person.
Feeling gratitude for your relations is one of the foremost reasons to be proud of yourself. If you cherish the relationships that are in your life, you will put your energies towards nurturing them and communicating using kinder words.
Remember the reasons why people in your life respect you and love you – it is because you have given respect and love sincerely. No one can take this quality away from you and no one can stop you if you want to give love and respect to people in your life.
It is possible that you may be having a low day or you may be going through a very difficult time and it might be easy for you to beat yourself up because things are not going your way. But being harsh with yourself will not make it easy to solve your problems. You must believe in your strength and your mind to inspire you to find solutions. You must believe in your greatness and your skills that have gotten you out of several sticky situations in your life in the past. Remember your past successes and be proud of yourself for solving the problems in your past and surviving.
Here are some reasons to be proud of yourself in case you’ve forgotten
You’ve learned a lot in your lifetime by looking at others, by reading books, by watching videos, by talking to your friends, by looking at your relations, and you have learned to get better at a lot of things.
You have a lot of unique skills and talents and there are some things that only you can do better than anyone
You have achieved some great things in life that you are really proud of
You’re constantly looking for things and skills to improve your life and your constantly pushing yourself to perform better because you care about your personal development
You are very important value addition to this world and the impact that you have created has a direct or indirect effect on the lives of a lot of people
You are constantly striving to solve new challenges and improve your problem solving skills whether the problems are at work or on your personal front
You have at least one person who is close to you who understands and supports you and whom you could turn to, to explain your difficulties and find respite from their words. You are also one such person for another friend or colleague because you are a good listener.
Unknowingly, you have motivated or inspired several family members, friends or colleagues and you have several secret admirers and people who look up to you for advice. You are a believer in your greatness.
Leave a comment if you enjoyed reading this post. And do add more reasons why you’re proud of yourself.
I have recently completed a course on LinkedIN titled “Effective listening”. It contained several useful techniques to improve one’s listening competency. I’ve combined some of my thoughts with the content of the course to write this article hoping it will help those interested in improving this quintessential skill of the 21st century. Success starts with listening correctly. Opening your ear to sounds is hearing. Opening your auditory sense along with your mind and body is listening. When you listen intently, you open a whole new world up. You gain confidence, build trust, improve relationships and grow. When you don’t, you’re committing a listening crime. We all commit listening crimes and we ought to get better at listening. While we acknowledge it, most of us don’t have the means to achieve this end.
Listening is the key skill of the 21st century. In this digital age of Youtube, podcasts, movies and online lectures, listening with intention ranks at the top of the most important skills for a successful individual in any line of work. If you listen with intention, you are going to make the most of the conversation by being more engaged and participate with more enthusiasm. Otherwise, it will let you drift into your own thoughts, give you a distracted outlook of things and overall, reduce the quality of the relationship with the person you’re listening to. The world outside your home contains several opportunities where your listening alone can take you a long way into building a good relationship with others. Come, let’s learn what are the best tools to hone your listening skill. Remember, listening with intention means you are able to make sense of what is being said and it involves more than just using your ear. It involves complete coordination of your ear, eyes, mind and also heart. So believe that you are a good listener and start practicing these tips to show how good of a listener you can be to yourself.
In listening, there are 5 major areas of focus or listening intentions:
Recalling details
Understanding the big picture
Evaluating the content
Attending to subtle cues
Empathizing with the speaker
Rank these five focus areas according to your strengths. In what area are you best at? Did you notice that each area begins with an action verb? What is your strength in listening? Is it recall, understand, evaluate, attend to or empathize?
1.Recall
Do you remember and RETAIN names, dates and other very specific points of information from the speaker? If those details are something you can remember and recall very easily, it is your key strength in listening.
What can I do to improve recall: Assess if listening for the details is the right thing to do in your interaction. If yes, take notes and ask yourself what information you need later to take an action.
2.Understand
Can you grasp the overall meaning of something spoken to you even if you cannot recollect the very specific details? Do you know the key ideas in what you are listening?
Sometimes, you don’t need to know the details but only understand the broad scope of what is being spoken. You then need more understanding ability.
What can I do to improve understanding the big picture: Ask yourself how this content will impact you or your organization in the future (say 5 years In the future). Also practice listening to a lecture and describe the key ideas of it (without getting bogged down in the details). Another practice that will help you improve is summarizing content of a meeting in a couple of sentences.
3.Evaluate
When the content being spoken to you is going into your mental filter where you are not just taking in the speech but judging it, and questioning it, you are evaluating the content. This is a key aspect of critical listening. If this is your strength, you have a discerning mind. This sub-skill is key for the viability and sustainability of an idea or organization for future growth.
What can I do to improve evaluating content while listening: If you have to form an opinion on the content OR decide between two positions or POVs of an argument or content OR assess strengths and weaknesses of a proposal, you must develop this sub-skill. With discipline and focus, listen to content only (force yourself to listen only to the information), not get distracted by the mode of delivery, the speaker, external factors etc. Then you will be able to compare, contrast and decide on the quality of what is presented. Ask yourself these questions about the spoken content only: Is the evidence recent, relevant and credible to the topic / claims presented? Are both pros and cons presented and is any of the information misleading?
4.Attending to cues
This is where listening goes from being a skill that uses your auditory sense organ (ear) to non-verbal communication senses. This includes listening to the body language, the facial expressions, tone of voice and pitch etc. If you are good at interpreting these non-auditory cues in speech, this is a strength worth developing.
What can I do to improve reading subtle cues: Reading between the lines is another term for it. If you are not good at this sub-skill, you could practice by learning to watch people converse in another language to pick up certain micro facial expressions and body posture related cues to decipher what they are feeling or what state of emotion is being conveyed in a conversation. Another way to practice this sub-skill is to try and figure out the story from watching soap operas.
5.Empathize
Deeply understand the emotional state of the speaker involves you being able to detect the subtle emotion underlying the speaker’s speech. Do you recognize the emotional aspect of a speech easily? Do you put yourself in the shoes of the speaker when you listen? If this is your strength, you are not only a good listener, but also have high EQ.
What can I do to improve empathy in listening: Empathy is feeling what the other is feeling in a conversation. Empathy is a sub-skill that is crucial to build strong foundation; trust and respect in relations with family, friends, colleagues, or strangers. Pour yourself into the listening experience if you want to strengthen this skill- listen and paraphrase the emotion and content of the speaker. This kind of listening with empathy is particularly useful in conflict situations at work among team members etc. Try to mirror your speaker’s actions and emotions / feelings. Ask leading phrases, ‘tell me more about that’, ‘what happened next’, – these are acknowledging phrases. This starts with identify when it is necessary to listen with empathy (make sure the situation is not too emotionally draining for you).
How many of these are in your listening skill quiver?
Remember that in any conversation or situation, you may be required to use more than one listening sub-skill at a time because it is important in that unique situation. Being intentional and purposeful in you listening overall will allow you to use these sub-skills to your advantage. Good luck and listen well to respond well.
Convert your listening skill into a listening competency and you’ll be the best friend, the best colleague at work and in general, a better human being.
Reference: Content from ‘Effective Listening’ course on LinkedIN Learning By: Tatiana Kolovou and Brenda Bailey-Hughes. Thank you for making it appealing!
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